Our Lives As A Story

I know we have all had the times where life seems to pile things onto an already heavy load. The times where our legs seem so tired that we are about to fall face first into the dirt. Well when you are at these trying times, ask yourself what is it all for, why are you doing this?


For me it's my faith... the faith that my dreams are about to come true. The faith that a life lasting love is in my future. How can it seem like the wicked go unpunished while the good are tried and tried again? We all have our demons that we battle, some of us battle more often than others. So whether it be faith, the lord, or a loved one, we all must find our strength and keep it close to our hearts. For it will be this strength that gets you through these battles. Because life is anything but fair, and often times it can be downright mean. But when you are in that darkness, there is light even though it cannot be seen.


There is a purpose to life like a moral to the childrens book of life. Although we cannot read these pages or skip to the end to see what happens, as characters in this book of life we can continue to move foward. We can continue to brush ourselves off, find our strength in times of need, and march through those pages toward our moral in life. For each of our own stories are being read at this very moment, our pages are being turned, as we move through the experiences of our book to a moral in our own personal story. Granted that some of us are in the chapters of heartbreak and loneliness, while others are in the chapters of love and happiness, we all are on a journey.


But if you fail to brush yourself off while face first in that dirt, if you take that deep breath in defeat, our story is not a story at all... but merely ideas that never made it to the library of life!

Has This Happened To You

Have you ever woken up one day and were just totally caught off guard by how or where you are in your life? Like it's all a dream and at any minute you are going to snap out of it and everything in life will be right again! If only life were that easy.


The reality of it all is that the only way to make life right is by doing it yourself. By going after the things that you want the most. That might mean that you will look like a fumbling idiot along the way, maybe even a jackass at times, and people will probably laugh at you. Well you know what I say, let them laugh! Because a person with passion goes after the things that they want without hesitation and without fear of how they are perceived from others. And out of all the traits that a person can possess, I would have to say that passion is amongst the top. The passion for life, the passion for love, and the passion for obtaining happiness.


I would hope that we can all have that passion and bravery in our lives; the bravery to break way those chains and pursue those pleasures in life that we seek. But with every yin there is a yang, and with that bravery will come fear. Which is only natural to fear when you have the risk of losing. But the happiness in life that we seek is worth the risk and the love that we yearn for.


Those tears on our cheek will dry up, the aching heart in our chest will heal, and the empty arms of our soul will hold another! So chin up, and put a smile on...

life will get better! :-)

Looking at the Reflection in the Mirror

Looking at the reflection in the mirror, I ponder for a moment. Remembering times when life was far more complex and much less difficult. Wondering if I will gain control of who I am, what I stand for and my future?


My happiness depends on myself and myself only. I feel as though I have an idea of what that might compel. However I have not the slightest idea of what it will take to really get there. Things can seem so out of reach sometimes. I'm just trying day by day to get a little further, jumping hurdles and working my way through the obstacles that are laid out in front of me. I seem to be getting very good at dodging what life is throwing at me though.


As I continue to stare at my reflection, I notice something. I'm jaded, it is written all over my face and there is no denying that I have neglected myself. Taking all the time in the world to please everyone around me, I have simply pushed myself to the side and left no time to tend to me. I seem to be spinning in circles trying to make sense of what is twirling around me. It is all moving too fast, I find it hard to grasp on to anything when it is flying by me at the speed of light. The reflection staring back at me is clearly trying to tell me something. It is just a matter of figuring it all out.


Life seems much more complicated these days, far more than it ever has before. I find myself second guessing who I really am and what it is I want out of my life. But I am surely working on it. And as I stare deeper into the face looking back at me, I realize I am a lot stronger than I put off. And with that strength I will make it through anything. I know what my boundaries are and I carry my values and self-respect with me no matter where I go. I have grown to be independent and strong willed.


I just have to let go of my insecurities and fears to allow myself to become who I want to be.

Why is Life Complicated?

A lot of people often complain about this-may it be about their school, love-life, social-life, friends, choices, or their life itself.

I too ask this question several times.. expression it should only be, for nobody really knows the answer to it, I attempted the impossible..

I tried to understand it and this is what I came up with and maybe, hopefully people would find ease in this..

Considering this thing is already compicated as it is, I still ended up with a complicated statement to explain it but when thought of, you would get my point.. hopefully that is.... here goes..

Life isn't really complicated. Yes it isn't jerk!!..

PEOPLE are the ONES who make life COMPLICATED.. You and the people around you make it complicated.

HOW? WHY? for the simple reason that every person is created DIFFERENTLY from one another-from their looks, attitude, personality, etc.

but most importantly, people have different opinions on one subject or another. That is when life begins to become complicated... Opinions are almost as good as wants and often if not always, when a person does not get what he wants, he becomes frustrated...

And when do we commonly say the phrase, why does it have to be complicated?
when we are frustrated right? frustrated for not getting what we want, for not being able to understand the other person,for not knowing what to do.. You know what i mean..

so what good did i just do?

maybe none.. but with this, i just want to say..

if you do see it in my point of view, and you dont want to make things complicated for urself,


JUST BE THE PERSON WHO JUST ACCEPTS THINGS AS THEY ARE.


Remember, they are not you..


In simple terms, BE THE BETTER PERSON and BE THE ONE TO GIVE WAY...

Doing The Right Thing

When you hear the phrase "Do the right thing" do u think of doing the right thing for yourself or for someone else, for your country, or for the world?
Or do you just think about just not doing the wrong thing?

And can you even see what the right thing is until you are miles past it. Also the idea of right and wrong has become so gray you never even know what is right most of the time.

Does a bad person know that he/she is a bad person. If she/he thinks their a good person but everyone else thinks that they are bad, what are they?

As far as simple social ideas of what is right and wrong I have always had my own idea and values of what is right and wrong. I just wonder how much of it is all bullshit sometimes.

Why Am I Blogging?

If years ago, someone told me that I’d be blogging, I’d probably think they were on hallucinatory drugs.

Yet, here I am…a delighted addict!

There are a thousand reasons why people blog.

I’m someone who has always enjoyed the evolutions of my life. I feel as though I’ve incarnated a hundred times already in this single lifetime. Parts of me have remained the same, yet other parts have evolved in ways that I could have never imagined.

The thing I love about blogging the most, is that it’s very much like my life…constantly moving forward. It lives in a “single moment” as each post is created, savoring that moment; then moving on to the next…and then the next.


Not only is blogging a wonderful way to express myself through writing, but for me, my blog is a complete representation of “where I am” at a particular evolution in my life.

I can change the entire “feel” of it’s visual design, to match my own interior design.

Blogging is all about energy.

I always believed that communicating with people via the Internet, would somehow cause a distancing between me and the rest of the world. But on the contrary, it has allowed me to connect “energetically” with others, without any physical limitation.

The term “web” is so appropriate for blogging, because blogging creates a tremendous web of energy, that allows people to connect on a very powerful level, where they even unconsciously start blogging about the same topics.
It’s like a “Universal Web” that brings people together who are meant to meet, who would maybe never be able to meet otherwise.

It amazes me how many times I’ve been connected to people who have taught me valuable lessons through their own evolutions.

Blogging is so much more than the technical aspects of a computer. It reaches way beyond anything physical.

It reaches...the soul.

Thanks everyone!

RELATIONSHIP EXPECTATIONS

Unfulfilled expectations always cause problems.

Having expectations in our culture is expected. We are brought up that way. Having great expectations sounds great however when the expectation is unfulfilled, we bitch, we moan, we become disappointed. That is a problem for most people. For example, if I expect you to love me a certain way and your love doesn't show up that way for me, I will most likely be disappointed. A better way might be to strive to get the need of being loved fulfilled by allowing your love partner to love you the way they love you. Your need to be loved a certain way is not a healthy need, it is only and always an unrealistic expectation.

Another disappointing thing about expectations is that they often do not come true. One love partner knows the expectation. The other love partner doesn't know the expectation of the other. Expectations are in the eye of the beholder. Can you see the problem? Needs must be communicated. Expectations are rarely ever communicated. Needs can be cussed and discussed. You must give careful thought to what needs must be fulfilled for you to know you have a healthy love relationship.

"Expect the best," is certainly a better attitude than the alternative. Some say, "If you always expect the best for your relationship, everything will work out better." This is a myth. It will work out the way it works out and you will be disappointed because it didn't work out the way you expected it to. You don't always get what you expect. We often expect our love partner to make the best choices for themselves and our relationship and when they are not our choices, we often get angry or disappointed. . . or both. Most people call this situation a problem: a problem we create by our expectations.

Try this: "No expectations, fewer disappointments!" It's that simple. Not easy. Simple. By considering a new point of view, by changing our thinking about expectations, we open ourselves up to whatever good the 'us' of the committed you and me may be working on together at the time. Since we are detached from the way things need to work out, we may be surprised by the result. Even when we imagine the very best, we are often surprised, because if there were shades of doubt present in our imaginings, things may turn out better than we imagined. . . or worse. Once we learn to identify our own individual, healthy needs, we must also learn not to be attached to the expectation of how those needs get fulfilled. This will always generate lots of surprises. That is when the adventure begins; the adventure the heart was crying for. Surprises create a sense of adventure; surprises you can enjoy together; surprises that create new and exciting possibilities for the two of you to experience.

Some of the surprises may show up as challenges for the relationship. They bring couples together and give them something to share. When two people really love each other and are committed to work together, those kind of surprises create the kind of conversation that empowers both love partners to continue to self-inquire, to investigate their curiosities about what they can do to stand together, to be challenged by the surprise and know that everything is going to be okay.

Problems are not to break us. Working together on problems makes us stong. While there is something to be said about "expecting the best," we must remember that disappointment comes from unfulfilled expectations. This does not mean that when your expectations do not get met, that the results are always bad. It only means that if your expectations don't get met. Disappointment usually follows. By thinking in terms of needs instead of expectations, we create vulnerability. Having needs with no expectations about how they will be fulfilled causes us to feel vulnerable. We have more to lose because now we know what we want. The outcome is less predictable. There is some risk involved. And we have a responsibility for getting our needs met. Never give yourself away in the relationship. By "give yourself away," I mean making sacrifices that conflict with what you need from the relationship. Never sacrifice your own personal integrity with regard to getting your needs met. The healthier image you have of yourself, the less likely this will occur.

There is a difference between duty and responsibility. When duty does not meet our needs, it is something to be avoided. For example, if there are children in the relationship you have a responsibility to take care of them. When it feels like duty, you have a responsibility to take care of your need to not have it feel like duty. We all experience the need to have healthy choices exercised and when they don't show up in our relationship, we either choose to have conversations about them or not. If the choices are abusive and therefore unacceptable, we begin to think about making a responsible choice to leave the relationship. However, always picking our lover apart because their choices are not the ones we would make can only point the relationship in the wrong direction. If we could accept the notion that everyone is doing the best they can, regardless of whether their choices are our choices, our attitude about our relationship would improve and perhaps the relationship we have would become the relationship we enjoy being in.

We must learn to distinguish between expectations and needs. Everyone has a need to be loved, to be understood, to be accepted and to be forgiven when necessary. For us to have expectations about how those needs get fulfilled can only cause disappointment. The number one problem in relationships is undelivered communication. It's the things we don't communicate because the last time we did, it caused a confrontation, argument, anger, frustration and we want to avoid these feelings so we stuff them. The next thing you know is, your partner didn't take out the garbage and you want a divorce and it's not about the garbage. In my opinion, the number two problem in relationships revolves around unfulfilled expectations. So, how do you sidestep the disappointment that always comes from unfulfilled expectations? Who wins the "expectations versus needs" dilemma? Needs, of course! You focus on your needs and make a commitment to never have any undelivered communication about them. Talk about what you need with your partner. Express your needs with love.

Unfulfilled expectations always cause problems. We often call things that happen that cause disappointment, problems. To avoid disappointment or problems. . . as best you can, have no expectations, good or bad. When you have expectations there are never any surprises because the outcome is almost always predictable. Disappointment follows unfulfilled expectations. The predicaments that follow are predictable. If your relationship is not full of surprises, it is most likely very boring and may border on being unhealthy. Having healthy needs is a natural and creative attitude to embrace. It is important to allow your love partner the freedom to fulfill your needs in their own best way. What you can be with in life lets you be! When you know what you need from your relationship and can express those needs to your partner and be okay with allowing them to love you the way they can love you, you will see a shift in your relationship that goes far beyond what you ever could have imagined!

-kira-

Looking For "Mr. Right"

Finding the right person is very hard and very wrong... It is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from there...You'll always end up disappointed when you set standards and define a "right person" for you...and don't rush things coz somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody for you."


Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship because you can never find love if you insist that you are already into it. Try to find time to really understand your real feelings, to know who you really are, and what you really want in a relationship. You're right, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there's a compatible partnership that goes along with it. If you already knew that you're too big to fit into a small sized t-shirt, don't give it a try. You'll probably break it and pay for the damages you have made.


If you knew and felt that the relationship will not last, DON'T GO DEEPER INTO IT. You'll just suffer the consequences and live like hell for the rest of your life. It's really hard to say goodbye though, but you can't make it any better by just pretending you still have the same feelings. Try to let go and give yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give yourself a chance to grow and give your heart a much needed attention. Then you will find that you have made the right decision and you made it all by yourself.


We call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go. We are wrong, it's just pity.


We call it love when we're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life. We misunderstood, its just that we're too much dependent on them.


We call it love when we give our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that if they leave, no one would accept us and our past. We are mistaken, its just insecurity.


But no matter what the definition is, the truth still remains that love isn't something you can buy or beg. It is real and existing. You can't touch it but you can feel it in your heart. You can't find it, but it will knock before you when you least expect it to come. It can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but don't forget that it can also make you the most miserable person in the whole galaxy...

-kira-

Letting Go

How do you walk away from someone you love
And take the road of friend;
Can you reroute the course you have taken
And start over once again?

I don't really want to let you go
But inside me I know I must;
The times we've loved . . . the times you've left
My heart says stay . . . but it's my mind I must trust.

We have shared so much together
Laughter . . . fun times . . . tears;
Yet sometimes we can't turn back time
We must walk away, and allow ourselves to heal.

I know one day you will be happy
And your soulmate you will find;
I know we each have one out there
Even if for now . . . only in our minds.

May life be gentle with you
May God's best come your way;
And on some quiet tomorrow
You will realize things were better this way.

-Kira-

Having An Open Mind

Today someone told me that I am a really open person. This was in response to a conversation we were having about my view on relationships, people from different religions and my work. Being in the field of teaching and education certainly exposes me to many people from various walks of life, different customs and cultures, religions, political beliefs and values. Perhaps I was attracted to that field precisely because of my openness.

Today I believe my friend was talking about something deeper than being an open person and that is acceptance: acceptance and the willingness to embrace peoplen who are, different from me, to listen to their point of view, to consider a different way of thinking and to be respectful in the process. I'm referring to acceptance of people as human beings, and not defined by gender, race, nationality, ethnic group, sexual orientation, social or economic class, or whatever label you choose to give someone.

As young adults, we always have a choice about being an open person although some people choose not to exercise it. We can choose to look at a person or situation or issue differently. We can decide to have an open mind. I choose to have an open mind. I choose to accept people with different views than my own. This doesn't mean that they will become my friends, but I choose to accept them anyway. I choose to read whatever interests me. Sometimes I read controversial pieces that I totally don't agree with, yet the choice is mine to read them so I can gain an insight into that world. I don't have to agree with it, but I respect people's rights to be read and heard, as long as it doesn't harm anyone: that is where I draw my line. (I admit that this line is often fuzzy.)

Having an open mind is so important to understanding one another. I've seen my share of closed minds, of people who are so adamant that their belief is the only way to think, that no matter what anyone says or does, they will not budge an inch to consider another point of view. Too often we are conditioned to grow up with the idea that our way is the only way.

One thing I have learned from my work is not to assume that people all have the same perception about the simplest of things. What is an accepted rule of society in one culture may be interpreted as rude or offensive in another. The sexual preferences are many in the realm of non-verbal communication such as personal space, style of dress or eye contact, and even more complex are the differences according to context. Do the rules of behavior change if a bride-to-be is meeting her future in-laws, a professional is going for a job interview, or when a person is entering a holy ground? Of course they do and the "rules" of politeness and what is considered acceptable for that culture in different contexts are not always universal, yet often we assume them to be. People know what they learn, even when they are not aware of it. Often times it is when someone is faced with a culture or situation different than their own that one realizes that differences do indeed exist.

So it is in this spirit that I ask you: Do you know and accept yourself? What preconceived notions do you have about certain people, places or experiences that prevent you from opening up your heart in acceptance of them? Might you grow by opening the door just a crack? You never know: you may just make a new friend!