Welcome to the Wonderful Land of Ties!

It is a place where people tend to forget that they are actually humans
and would rather consider themselves as machines...
A place where being boring is cool and being cool is not.
Where t-shirts are out and collared polos are your best bud,
where leather shoes are a must and matching neck ties are everywhere.

Welcome to the corporate world, welcome to the reality of finally having a JOB..
I can still remember those days when i always made fun of all the people i see walking around wearing skimpy corporate attires, they look like dweebs! people whose fashion sense has left them since the beginning of time. To me, they always appear similar to robots.

With their heads sticking up high, with arms swaying synchronized with every step that they make.. it surely was a peculiar sight.. but, then again, I never thought I would be one of them..
being forced to wear nothing but these "uniforms".

I tend to call them uniforms since they technically prevent me from dressing in my own style, in want i want.. though at first I would consider myself as one of "them", then again, I thought... what made them that way in the first place? was it their boss? was it their job? was it that just wanted to look sophisticated? or was it for money?

who knows..

Each and every person has their own reasons in being so corporate, in being so sophisticated, in being uptight... may it be for work or for money, nobody cares anymore..

At some point, when you look at it, there's a lot more to this "world" than being so fashionably stereotype. Being one of them, acually made me learn most of these things, I suppose...

it really doesn't matter what you where or what work you do...

What's important is that you are able to do what you are supposed to do..
Doing the things that you want to do for yourself and for you family...

It's really all about living the dream that you once had, finding the reason of your worth..

Now, if you will see some people wearing polos and leather shoes, think again...
Don't let their image of being stiff fool you...

Look closer, there might actually be something more behind those corporate attires...

Expressing What You Cannot Express

Not everyone finds expressing their feelings easy or having it come naturally. While the stereotype is that men have the hardest time expressing their emotions, everyone at one time or another in their life may find it difficult to say how they feel..

Learning why you have trouble expressing your feelings can go a long way into changing that behavior. Saying how you feel is something you can learn how to do, just as readily as you can learn how to fix a faucet or mend a button on a shirt. Here are ten common reasons I came up with why people find it difficult to express their emotions to someone else..

1. Conflict Phobia

You are afraid of angry feelings or conflicts with people. You may believe that people with good relationships should not engage in verbal “fights” or intense arguments. In addition, you may believe that disclosing your thoughts and feelings to those you care about would result in their rejection of you. This is sometimes referred to as the “ostrich phenomenon” — burying your head in the sand instead of addressing relationship problems.

2. Emotional Perfectionism

You believe that you should not have feelings such as anger, jealousy, depression, or anxiety. You think you should always be rational and in control of your emotions. You are afraid of being exposed as weak and vulnerable. You believe that people will belittle or reject you if they know how you really feel.

3. Fear of Disapproval and Rejection

You are so terrified by rejection and ending up alone that you would rather swallow your feelings and put up with some abuse than take the chance of making anyone mad at you. You feel an excessive need to please people and to meet what you perceive to be their expectations. You are afraid that people would not like you if you expressed your thoughts and feelings.

4. Passive-Aggressive Behavior

You pout and hold your hurt or angry feelings inside instead of disclosing what you feel. You give others the silent treatment, which is inappropriate, and a common strategy to elicit feelings of guilt (on their part).

5. Hopelessness

You are convinced that your relationship cannot improve no matter what you do. You may feel that you have already tried everything and nothing works. You may believe that your spouse (or partner) is just too stubborn and insensitive to be able to change. These positions represent a self-fulfilling prophecy–once you give up, an established position of hopelessness supports your predicted outcome.

6. Low Self-Esteem

You believe that you are not entitled to express your feelings or to ask others for what you want. You think you should always please other people and meet their expectations.

7. Spontaneity

You believe that you have the right to say what you think and feel when you are upset. (Generally, feelings are best expressed during a calm and structured or semi-structured exchange.) Structuring your communication does not result in a perception that you are “faking” or attempting to inappropriately manipulate others.

8. Mind Reading

You believe that others should know how you feel and what you need (although you have not disclosed what you need). The position that individuals close to you can “divine” what you need provides an excuse to engage in non-disclosure, and thereafter, to feel resentful because people do not appear to care about your needs.

9. Martyrdom

You are afraid to admit that you are angry, hurt, or resentful because you do not want to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that her or his behavior is unacceptable. Taking pride in controlling your emotions and experiencing hurt or resentment does not support clear and functional communication.

10. Need to Solve Problems

When you have a conflict with an individual (i.e., your needs are not being met), avoiding the associated issues is not a functional solution. Disclosing your feelings and being willing to listen without judgment to the other is constructive.

I am not saying that you should always tell people what you think. I believe that sometimes, it is best to think about the situation and decide from there whether expressing yourself will prove to be beneficial or not..

Life as I DON'T know it..

Nowadays, I am not entirely sure anymore of the things that are happening in my life...

At this point, I am beginning to question the things I have, the decisions i'm making and the people around me..

When exactly do people realize that their lives are turning out the way they wanted it to be? Some say that there will be a turning point and it will present itself to you at a very opportune time.

But when can you exactly find out if what's happening is indeed your turning point in life? Long has it been a terrible conundrum for me.. Long have I waited to figure out the way to help myself be aware..

When exactly do people realize that they are happy?

Is it when they can manouver a smile and carry on with the day?

Is it when everything is going fine and you enjoy every ounce of time you have left?

Is it when the people around you is happy and you hear no bad things about yourself?

When exactly can you say that you are on the right path?

I personally believe that Life, in it's truest sense, is neither meant to be understood nor analyzed. It is way too grand and complicated to just be throroughly solved by meager minds.

Now, if i will be asked if I am truly in control of my life, I would plainly answer 'no'.

It may sound totally anti-climactic, but i guess that's how it is. You live your life in such a way that it will never be predicatable. You can be as controlling as you can or be as certain with all your decisions; However, there would be things that are bound to get out of hand. All that you can do is be prepared for everything and make the right choices. Consider not only yourself but also the people around you, no matter how distant or close they are to you. I may not fully appreciate the complex plan laid out for me.. One thing's for sure, though.. I know that everything will definitely fall into place. With every right thing that i did, it made me wiser.And with every mistake i committed, it made me stronger.